I went for afternoon tea with my group of girls....first time I have seen them since my Cancer diagnosis! I was apprehensive about seeing them as texting and emailing them hasn't been easy and I felt they wasn't themselves when they messaged me. however when I saw Them all I just gave them my diagnosis letter/referral and let them all read it themselves. They all bought me some flowers and a bottle of bubbly which was so very sweet, some of them I don't think felt comfortable talking to me And although it's hard for me to deal with my friends not acting the same around me....I understand that some people haven't had to deal with the big C word in their life before and probably don't know how to feel or know what to say. But the flowers and hugs we're their own little way of saying they are here and that's all that matters.
My dads birthday was yesterday and we had a family day, drinking and eating was really lovely.
My appointment with the dermotoligist to discuss my surgery and surgery date and diagnosis is Thursday! Feel like it's been a long 2 week wait and although I know what's going to happen from my mums experiences I want to hear it all for myself. It really is baby steps with this and I know once I have been Thursday my next step is the surgery!
Not sure how I will feel Thursday but I'm feeling strong.
As usual I have been having my bad days and good but you have to remain strong and brave and enjoy each day and smile as much as you can. If I have a bad day or moment I cry if I need to, watch something funny on tv and go for a walk. Most importantly If I want to talk the one person I can rant to is my mum, she has been my rock. In terms with coping with diagnosis my aunt and my dad and I all laugh that I'm coping better than mum did. However everyone handles things differently, and she has young children when she was diagnosed and she didn't want to go out with her friends. Where I am worrying about how my family are feeling more than myself and I'm keeping busy by going out and seeing friends and family.
My mum is being so strong for me and being there 110% I love her so much.
Iv also started to read more books, cook more and watch more movies! As my friends commented I never watched hardly any films I'm making time to watch them now haha!
I will update after my hospital appointment Thursday :)
Lots of peace and hope
Nikki xo
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